Image by Angela from Moon Mother Chronicles.
How to learn the art of Surrender?
Out of all the lessons COVID 19 has taught us, the art of surrender is probably the single most valuable lessons we all need to learn and apply in our lives right now in my opinion.
“Taslim” – my name in Arabic means “To Surrender”. It’s quite ironic to reflect that not too long ago, I was someone who severely suffered and currently recovering patient of the concept of letting go and giving up control.
I was the one who needed to learn the art of surrender the most to live a purposeful, thriving, fulfilling life.
Before you rule out this concept as only a spiritual practice, let me tell you I EXACTLY thought like you in the past. Fortunately, my thinking has proven to be wrong.
The art of surrender is a powerful concept and tool that once you incorporate in your life, you’d be surprised to see its miraculous benefits that bring to your professional, and personal life.
As a high achiever professional, and 100% pure Type-A personality (aka. control freak), in today’s blog post I share my radical honest view, and experience about how I’m learning the art of surrender to apply in daily life.
In this fast pacing western society which teaches us to become more productive and hustle all the times to achieve success, I’m here to open your mindset and say there is a different, much better approach is available – the art of surrender.
Disclaimer – I share experiences from my absolute authentic (and vulnerable) self in this blog post with a hope to spread this message with you all so that you can benefit from this too.
How did I learn the art of surrender?
I believed to achieve success, and the desired outcomes, I always needed to be in life’s driving seat controlling every single aspect of life.
Over the years, this has gotten worse due to the career, and lifestyle choices that I made. I’ve spent a decade of my career in a fast pace industry across roles where some of the key success metrics are project milestones, outcomes-driven which aggravated the already existing symptoms of my natural Ayurvedic Pitta Dosha/body constitute.
In certain areas of my life, I was constantly forcing things to happen according to my will without any luck wasting my precious time, energy.
The more I force, hustle, the less it progress, and often the outcomes are not desirable at all leaving me frustrated, disappointed, lost, defeated.
Let me give you one example. In 2019 after a period of healing and transformation journey, I was super pumped and planning to make major life changes.
What I planned for the year ahead on 27th October 2019?
01 Start this blog Nov 2019
02 Move to a different career role by Dec 2019
03 Travel 6 Weeks across Asia & Europe in 2020
04 Family holiday in Jan 2020
05 Attend 14 day Meditation course in Dec 2019
What did nOT happen according to my plan?
01 My dad had passed away
On 28th Oct 2019, I received news that my dad had passed away. It was much unexpected, to say the least. So the holiday and blog plan went out of the window.
02 Project got delayed
The project I was leading got extended due to unexpected delays hence the career move got postponed.
03 Meditation got cancelled
After all this, I was looking forward to attending the meditation course with a broken heart and leftover hope. I was thinking it will be the answer to my much-needed healing.
Then the worst bushfire of history hit Sydney. Despite the meditation location being the critical bushfire zone, I was determined to attend and made my way there on 19th Dec 2019. On 2nd day, I had to emergency evacuate. A course that I booked a year ago got cancelled. All I kept asking “Why?”
04 COVID 19
Finally, COVID 19 happened. Like others, all my international travel plans got cancelled.
What happened even better in reality?
01 Appreciate VAlue of time
In many ways, through the loss of my dad, I have reminded the value of time, relationships, and purpose of my life.
I developed an even deeper appreciation for this beautiful life and a newfound urge to fulfil my life’s purpose.
02 Nourished mind, body, soul
Since I had no other plans aside meditation course during 2019 Christmas holiday which got cancelled, I spent the two weeks practising yoga, longer meditation sessions, long runs in nature.
I disconnected with the world to connect deeper with the inner self. My mind, body, soul was fully nourished and rejuvenated.
03 Learned the ARt of surrender
During this time, I read Return To Love by Marianne Williamson which gave me the much needed last push, and courage to start to practice the act of surrendering.
04 Blog Launched
Even though my holiday plans got cancelled due to COVID 19, there are a lot of other things that worked out way better than I ever imagined for me. Such as, not commuting long hours for work, having self-care time, time to read books, learn skills, and the list goes on.
During this time, I was still able to launch this blog not according to my timeline but I’m confident I’ll be able to connect the dots in future.
In the end, it turned out all good, even better in certain situations for me.
So take a moment right now to reflect in your life. Can you see some events that did not go according to your plan but you are grateful for it looking back?
That is exactly the life force or divine power higher than ourselves who knows what is even better for ourselves when we are blindsided by our ego’s, ignorance or fear.
Be crumbled. So wild flowers will come up where you are. You have been stony for too many years. Try something different. Surrender.
- Rumi
What does the art of surrender mean?
The art of surrender means, the act of surrendering the outcome of anything to the life force or divine power larger than ourselves while you still actively take actions and co-create life. It’s the most beautiful harmony between you and all the universal energies at play.
You can call this life force God, Holy Spirit, the Tao, Shakti, Divine Will or, even, cosmic intention. Whether you are religious, spiritual or non-believer, it is irrelevant. The intention is the key here to allow this beautiful universal force to enter into your life to transform yourself and fulfil all the dreams.
Surrender will allow you to stop procrastinating, controlling things, obsessions, or over-attachment with situation, outcome, and people. It will allow you to let go of your agendas to embrace what the world has to offer. Surrender frees you and gives you peace of mind knowing that you’ll be okay no matter what happens in life.
Through the act of surrender, you will learn how to advance your life effortlessly by identifying the opportunities that are meant for you, and the ones that are not aligned with your life purpose. Once you apply this concept you’ll be able to easily spot the close doors using your intuition, and then pivot the direction of your original plan rather fighting against it.
Fear, ego, insecurity, over-attachment, lack of faith, or only relying on our strengths are some of the major things that lead us not to surrender and practice letting go.
When correctly applied in life, you will feel you are sailing in a pristine, tranquil, calm ocean without putting any effort.
“When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more.”
Gabby Bernstein
What does NOT the art of surrender mean?
Myths
- It does not mean defeat as it has negative connotation even in the spiritual community. Life is not a war, it’s a journey. Surrendering means you are winning against the war of fear, control, and ego’s in your life.
- Surrender does not mean living life passively or not taking actions towards life goals. It simply means you take actions, accept things as they are, and leave the outcome to the higher force to live peacefully.
- It does not mean surrendering to another person. True surrender means surrendering the outcome of the events to a higher power or force larger than ourselves. This way we allow life to unfold to us naturally without trying too hard and only relying on our strengths.
- Surrender does not mean weakness. On the contrary, it’s a strength and requires courage to navigate life when things are uncertain, and outcomes are not guaranteed.
“…the processes that determine the flow of life around us did not begin when we were born, nor will they end when we die.”
Michael A. Singer
How to learn the art of surrender?
The key to living life in harmony with universal energy is surrendering to a greater plan, accepting things as they are, letting go of expectations of any outcome and releasing the need to manipulate life.
I’ve always fascinated by how smooth things go when I surrender as opposed to fighting against the situation.
Here are the 6 STEPS that can help you to practice surrender more in any areas of life where you are holding tight.
STEP 01
Awareness
like anything, it’s key to develop an awareness first on what and when you started to get into control mode.
I’ve noticed a pattern sometimes when I’m too passionate about a project or have too many things on my plate, I started to automatically get into the driver seat again.
STEP 02
Take note
Once you notice the imbalance and the areas where you are holding tight, take some time to reflect, ask questions, and note it down. Once, you put down your thoughts into paper, you’ll be able to think clearly.
Some of the questions you can ask yourself- “What am I afraid will happen if I let go of control? Ask yourself, Is it true? Are there other alternatives available? What is the worst that can happen?”
It’s human nature that sometimes we amplify any bad situations. Be honest with yourself and examine your answers carefully.
Reflect in the past and recall any similar circumstances that you have dealt with. How you overcame that situation? What are the strengths you have that you can leverage?
STEP 03
Being present
Once you identify you are in control mode, bring back yourself to the present moment.
All the creations happen ONLY in the present moment. The past is something which has already happened and the future is something uncertain. Therefore you cannot control and should stop worrying about the future or regret about the past.
Focus on the present, commit to taking all actions that reasonably possible in your capacity with an open mind to leave outcomes to the universe to unfold over time.
STEP 04
Take Action
Once you are in the present moment, use your intellect accompanied by intuition to define, plan, and execute your ideas, visions into reality. If there are hurdles on the way, pivot your plan and ask the life force, divine power for help to unfold the next possible action to take. Also ask for help from your friends, colleagues, mentors whoever feels right to you.
You are not meant to walk this path alone. You are most definitely not the first one who is experiencing these circumstances. So be open, receptive and allowing things to happen will help you navigate your way towards the goal without you worrying over the details.
STEP 05
Have Faith
Irrespective of whether you are religious, spiritual or non-believer, have faith in the higher intelligence that is helping you with this life journey.
Have you ever thought how your own body, nature, the universe is working without you dictating or worrying about it?
You don’t wake up in the morning and instruct your bodily organs (i.e. heart, kidney, brain etc.) to function accordingly. It automatically does without you getting its way. So if you don’t worry about these critical functions to operate daily, why worry about other things in life.
“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”
Albert Einstein
STEP 06
Choose Love over Fear
As Einstein said, you have always a choice to believe whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe.
Whether its glass half full or half empty is just a matter of perspective. When things are uncertain or goes against the according to your will, you have a choice to continue to move forward with love, faith that everything will be worked out or live in fear.
In the Return To Love the author mentions that anything that causing our unhappiness, it always comes back to a root feeling of FEAR. The author describes that higher power can guide you in everyday life when you choose to love and decide to surrender the outcome.
Share with us any other tips that helped you to practice the art of surrender in the comments section below.
I would love to hear from you, so please tag me @iamtaslimbegum on Instagram.
Lots of love & light from my soul to yours!
Taslim
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